 I know nothing, I'm from Barcelona. (Manuel, Fawlty Towers) |
 I have a lot of things cooking in the Bermuda Triangle. (Fester Addams, Addams Family) |
 The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. (Donkey to Puss in Boots, in Shrek 2) |
Kelly: Daddy?
Al: What is it, pumpkin?
Kelly: Yeah, I just got a call from the doctor. I'm dying. I have Bulgaria. The doctor says it's terminus.
Al: How long do you have, pumpkin?
Kelly: Until Christmas day, and the only known cure is a good present. One from the $225-$275 price range.
Peggy: Did you miss me?
Al: With every bullet, so far.
Peggy: Al, how come you never send me roses?
Al: I don't like you, Peg.
Jefferson: We were being so nostalgic that I... bought a '65 Mustang.
Marcy: You bought a '65 Mustang? When are you going to get a job to drive it to?
Jefferson: I look in the papers, it's just that by the time I get up all the good jobs are taken.
Al: I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet.
Al: A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world's largest, ugliest tree!
Peggy: This is George Washington, the father of our country.
Kelly: I thought that was James Brown.
Peggy: No, he was the Godfather of soul.
Kelly: I thought that was Don Corleone.
Peggy: I think we've had enough for one day.
Al: Sex again. Peg, we've been married for 17 years now, can't we just be friends?
Peggy: No. I don't like you, I just wanna have sex with you.
Al: Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer.
Al: Whats the difference between men and women? -Well..one of them works and the rest...are women
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Engineers and Managers...
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am. How did you know?"
"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am. But how did you know?"
"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
The IT Crowd
Episode 4
Episode 5
Fire !!!
Woman On Phone: My computer won't work
Roy On Tape: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Woman On Phone: Yes, it still doesn't work.
Roy On Tape: Have you made sure it's plugged in?
Woman On Phone: Oh right. Thanks... (Hangs up)
The IT Crowd
Roy: Here ya go. (hands Jen a plastic bag with a bottle of wine)
Jen: Thank you Roy. (Takes the bottle out of the bag) Oh Lovely, white wine. I've never seen a wine actually called white wine before. Thank you, Roy. What are you drinking?
Roy: Er, red wine. Please.
Jen: Richmond?
Richmond: Oh, do you have any absinthe?
Jen: No.
Richmond: I only drink absinthe.
Jen: Absinthe, no. Red wine, white wine, Carlsberg....
Richmond: Oh, Carlsberg, perfect.
Madagascar
- Status. This time, Skipper.
- I dont know the codes!
- Don't give me excuses! Give me results!
Tech Eddie
Grappen over Zweden... Door een Noor vertaald naar het Engels ;-)